When the student is ready, the master will appear

The title of this blog comes from my best friend, but it seems like it's fitting for my own life and the things I've been experiencing as well. My own romantic love relationship has been falling apart for some time. What makes it all the more difficult is that this man was not only my lover, teacher, fan club and partner, he is also my best friend. This feeling of loss goes much deeper than a relationship gone bad. Anyway, the other day I decided to take a break from the relationship and take the time to fall in love with myself again. Making that choice and acting on it is taking a great leap of faith for me. For all I know, he could be out with a new girl every night of the week, meeting new women here and there and moving on from me. I keep reminding myself that if it's meant to be, it will be. When it is time.

That's a hard thing to remember. I get sad and lonely. I get angry with him and with myself. But I keep telling myself that I have to go through this "meantime" experience and once we are ready, if he is my divine love, which I believe and have always believed that he is, we will be together. This time period of pain and growth is only temporary and I need to use this to love myself, and others, again.

Sometimes I forget to remind myself. I play the "oh woe is me game, I'm such a victim, life sucks without him.....". A dear friend of mine is going through a separation. We've been each other's coaches in this meantime experience, as we are each going through similar experiences. She's confused. She doesn't know what to do. And what do I tell her? That I know how bad it hurts, and she needs to take this time and work on herself, and if it is meant to be, then it will be.

I have another friend who is going through a break-up with her boyfriend. She loves him so much and had planned a future with him. Unfortunately, he was wishy-washy in keeping the plans with her. She finally had enough and let him break up with her. Now she is heartbroken and sad and angry. And what do I tell her? To take this time for herself, and if it is meant to be, then it will be.

Last night my daughter called me late (she was at her dad's) and asked if she could come home. She was in tears. When she got there she was crying in my arms and I could barely understand her. I finally understood that she had been at church and her ex-boyfriend was there, her first love, the one she never got over. She said how seeing him hurt so bad and she just started to cry. He came over and put his arms around her and hugged her. It made it worse. She told me how much she misses him and wants to be with him. I told her I know how bad she's hurting right now, and if it is meant to be, then it will be. Not in her time, not in his time, but in God's time.

Like I said: when the student is ready, the master will appear.