The Line

There are a lot of hypothetical lines....the line between fact and fiction, the line between love and hate, the line between what is forgivable and what isn't, the line between sticking up for yourself and being cruel.....

Let's take the line between fact and fiction. Say there is a fight between a couple. The wife goes to her girlfriends and tells them all about the fight, from her point of view of course. The husband goes to his friends and family and tells them all about the fight, from his point of view. Each point of view is told in such a way that it makes the person telling it look like the victim and the other party a monster. So is each story a fact? Or is it fiction? I've heard it said that there are three sides to every story: my side, your side and the truth.

The line between love and hate is more difficult to discern. Each are both very passionate emotions. But is it possible to love someone and then turn around the next day and hate them just as much? I don't think it is.

Where do you draw the line between what is forgivable and what isn't? Can you forgive someone for hurting you? What if they hurt you over and over and over and over again? When do you stop and say I can't forgive you anymore? This is a tough one for me because I promote love and forgiveness. So when something happens, or a string of something happens, in my life, I can find it very hard to forgive a person. But I think what I'm discovering is that my lack of forgiveness would only hurt myself. So, therefore, I think I can forgive a person for almost anything, but I don't have to subject myself to this person's actions anymore.

The line between sticking up for myself and being cruel is one that I'm still struggling with, although not quite as bad as I once was. See, I was the one who always went on the offensive. I would tell a person about themselves before they had the opportunity to get me. But what I realized, eventually, is that all that did is alienate the ones that I love and make me seem like a horrible person. And I'm really not a horrible person, I just have a big mouth that opens before my brain can tell it to shut. On the other hand, if you let a person treat you like crap over and over again, and you just sit there and take it, that's wrong too. Your actions have to match your words. If you say you love someone, don't say horrible things to them or about them. If you say you aren't going to put up with this nonsense, then do not put up with it. And if a person can't treat you exactly as they expect you to treat them, then they don't need to be in your life.

Life is not always black and white. There really are a lot of shades of gray in there. Not every situation is the same, and not every person is the same. If you want someone to forgive you, you have to forgive them. If you want someone to treat you like they love you, you have to treat them with love. If you want someone to be kind to you, you have to be kind to them. And you can't react the same to every situation. Your opinion is not the only one that matters. And if you go off the deep end, you may do something that not only you will regret, but will cause irreparable harm to the relationship and to the other person. Think before you act. Think before you speak. And above all else, treat others as you wish to be treated.