It’s all a matter of perspective….

I find it funny how life goes in cycles. I mean, when you’re in the midst of a drama or a heartache you certainly don’t see it like that, but when you’re happy and life is good, it’s easier to see how life works.

A month and a half ago my boyfriend of two years broke up with me, I had alienated myself from most of my friends, I had been hibernating for so long I forgot what it was like to go out, I felt horrible about myself and didn’t want to look in the mirror, I was getting ready to begin a court battle with my ex-husband, my daughter hated me, and my grandma almost died. Yea, life certainly SUCKED. While I was going through it, I did what most people would do and played the “poor me, why is this happening to me” saga. Of course, that certainly didn’t help anything. I don’t know how or when it happened, but one day I woke up and decided I needed a plan.

So I sat down, tried to regain some perspective, and made a plan. No, life didn’t magically get better. But what did happen is I found myself able to cope. I found myself not dwelling on the negative. I lost that feeling of hopelessness and removed myself from that victim role that’s so easy to fall into. I began to live.

I’ve had trouble sleeping this past week so at night I lay in bed and my mind goes crazy. The past couple nights I’ve been taking inventory of my life and realized that life really is good. The boyfriend and I aren’t together, but we are slowly learning to communicate again. I’ve reconnected with tons of my friends and at the same time cut one or two who were bad for me out of my life. I find myself getting out of the house more, and when I am home, I don’t consider it hibernating…I consider it enjoying the peace and serenity. I walk with my head up and embrace the world….and funny how many people stop to talk to me or ask if they can give me their number. I’ve made a couple new friends. My ex-husband and I have reached a tentative truce, my daughter and I are getting along, and my grandma is home and doing better.

Life isn’t perfect, but I chose to focus on the good. The bad or the annoying or the frustrating is still there, but I don’t allow it to consume me. Yes, it really is all a matter of perspective.

Note to the superhero…since I know you’re reading this…..thanks for the late night phone conversations this week. Hearing myself say it out loud made it real to me…that’s why I said it’s an unfamiliar concept.