And THIS is why women think men are morons....

I tumbled across this link (13 Facts About Women.....Men Forget) in my Google Reader yesterday...and feel strangely compelled to respond to these somewhat true, mostly ridiculous allegations about women. I shall, of course, make the standard disclaimer here...no, I'm not talking to all men, just the ones who buy into this bullshit. I love men. Men are good. Men are yummy. Men make me hot. Blah blah blah.

1. Full of Sh*t. We are NOT full of shit. Just because you have trouble wrapping your brain around our sense of logic DOES NOT MEAN that we are full of shit. We are so sick of being accused of playing games. We are so sick of being called liars. Just because you feel the need to be logical and unemotional does not mean that you are the all-knowing, all-perfect greater beings of our species.

2. More Complicated Than You. Of course we're more complicated than you are. Do you even know how to multi-task? Do you even think about things other than sex, beer and sports? I mean, I have never heard a man wonder how he is going to juggle a family, hobbies, career and time for himself. No, it's usually the woman who is worrying about how to deal with all that. Yes, I'm definitely a complicated woman. And I'm certainly proud of it.

3. Requires Compliments. We don't require them, but make no mistake many women want to hear them. And really...what's wrong with that? Positive affirmations are a good thing.

4. Believes She Knows More About You Than You Do. I mean...REALLY? It's not that we think we know more about you than you know about yourself. It's that we remember how you used to be when we fell in love with you...and the person we're with now is the freakign polar opposite of that man. So when you're acting like an obtuse asshole and we say things like "oh just stop it...this isn't you", it's because we know that the man we fell in love with wouldn't behave that way.

5. Evil Toward Other Girls. The majority of women are not evil toward other women. Most women have a very strict "code" of NEVER fucking over a female, whether we're friends with them or not. Do we stand up for ourselves and protect what is ours if we feel threatened or wronged? Absolutely. But we do that to anyone, regardless of their gender.

6. Self Conscious About Something. Yes, most of us are usually self-conscious about something. But its hard not to be when the men we are with can't keep their tongue in their mouth or their head from swiveling when they see a woman (usually a very young woman) walk by with her girl parts hanging out. And don't even try to act like men don't have their insecurities as well. They just deal with it differently than women do.

7. Crazy. We are not crazy. We are emotional. If we didn't express our emotions the way we do, well then we'd be called men now wouldn't we.

8. Not Funny. Not funny? Well, I admit I am definitely humor challenged, but who cares. Not every person is good at every thing, and to make a blanket judgment of women are not funny is really, just, not funny.

9. A Star-F**ker. Right. How said for the person that dreamt this one up. There is only one man that I want to have sex with, and while he may not be a movie star, he's (usually) a star in my eyes.

10. A Better Liar. Just because men do dumb stuff that they KNOW their woman would not be happy about and then have to lie about it and then get caught does not mean that women are constantly lying. Women are usually more honest than men, but because men lie so much they automatically think women are doing it.

11. Enjoys Cat Calls. Hardly. While I enjoy having a man give me an appreciative look, having a construction worker stop his truck in the middle of the street so he can talk to me as I'm crossing the street is not only embarrassing, but it's creepy.

12. Constantly Looks For Inner-Meaning. You're right. We do. That's because we're not shallow. And because we care.

13. Uses Sex To Manipulate Men. This is probably the most ridiculous one of them all. News flash. Women enjoy sex. We like it a lot. Really. A LOT. Why in the world would we use sex to manipulate men when it's something that, from my experience, we want more than the man does?

So there you have it. I've refuted and disputed these senseless allegations based on the behavior of a select few women and more than likely written by a man who just got dumped. Agree, disagree, I don't care. It's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.