It's been awhile since I did a gratitude list. I was visiting with my girlfriend today and she was telling me everything that was wrong in her life right now and I looked at her and said why don't you tell me what you do have that's right. Pretty powerful words that I need to listen to myself. So here are some of the things that I'm grateful for.
1. Cass. She and I fight often, but she is my Angel Girl. I'm so proud of her for the accomplishments that she's done. She is a kind, smart young lady and I'm proud to be her mom.
2. Tristan. My baby boy. Yes, he's spoiled and I'm the one who spoils him. He's my last baby and he's still young enough to be babied. Besides, I'm not having anymore!!!
3. My family. I've tried shutting them out these past several months but they haven't given up on me. My grandparents call weekly to check on me, my dad comes over to give me books, my brother texts and calls me often and my mom tells me that she loves me. That's a lot to be grateful for right there.
4. Randy. He's my lobster, what can I say.
5. My job. I feel that all the hard work I've done these past 14 years is finally starting to pay off.
6. My friends. I have some of the best friends in the world. When I feel like I'm alone and no one understands, I don't have to look very far to find someone. They put up with my distance and my tears and my uncertainties. They support me and love me in everything that I do.
7. My faith. I may not be so sure what I believe in anymore, but I know I believe in Something and that's good enough for me.
8. Food. I can remember when I was a very young single mother and I had to work three jobs - all of them at restaurants, just so I could eat and take care of my Angel Girl. I've complained about the weight that I gained last year and I complained about the weight that I lost this year, but the fact is I am very blessed to even have food in my fridge and cabinets because there was a time when I didn't.
9. My house. Yes, my house is old. Yes, there are things that need to be done to it that I can't do right now, either because I have no clue how to do it or because I don't have the money. But it's all mine. I own it. And the mess is my mess. And the projects are my projects. And the lawn that needs raking is my lawn that needs raking. It's mine. I worked hard to get this house and I worked even harder to keep it. It was always my dream to own my own home and now I do.
10. My car. My car is a pain in the ass. It's got 114000 miles on it and things go wrong and I get frustrated. I'm a horrible driver (I run redlights on purpose, only pause at stop signs and drive entirely too fast). I hate pumping gas and I hate getting in the car when it's too hot or too cold. But guess what. It's mine. It's paid off, it's in good condition, and it gets me where I want to go.
So then next time I start saying poor me, poor me, I just need to remember that I have more than a lot of people do. I may not have everything that I want, but I do have everything that I need and a lot of what I want.
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