Life Changes Fast....

There's been a lot happening the past few months. I was really depressed for a very long time. I guess what was happening was I was going through the grieving process. It's kind of ironic to say that you're going through the grieving process for the end of a relationship while you're still in the relationship, but nevertheless that's what was happening to me. I don't know when it happened. All I know is that I woke up one day and decided that I didn't care anymore. I shouldn't say that I don't care anymore because I do care. I just don't care enough. I held on so tightly to something that was already gone. But I know I had to go through things the way that they happened or else I wouldn't have gotten through it. It just sucks. I still feel that it's not real or that I'm in a bad dream and I'll wake up tomorrow and things will be back to normal. But I know they won't. I don't love him the same. And he doesn't love me the same. I said my goodbyes tonight. After begging and pleading and bargaining and negotiating, I finally gave up. This isn't what I want. This isn't love and relationships shouldn't be like this. I have no doubt that he'll be fine without me. Maybe he'll meet someone more suited to him. Someone who will accept what he has to offer and be happy with it. I'm just not that woman.