Sometimes Goodbye IS a Second Chance

One of the obstacles with getting re-involved with an ex is that there's a history there. Now, in some (many) aspects that's a really good thing. You're comfortable with each other. You have a deep connection. You already love each other. You know each other's likes and dislikes. The list could go on and on, but I think you get the gist of what I'm saying.

Unfortunately, with the good things in your history there's also the bad (hence the break up to begin with). It's hard to forget some of the things that were done during bad periods to each other. Friends and relatives certainly don't forget. I've also discovered that friends and relatives don't mind butting their noses in where it belongs, or behaving as if THEY are the wounded party (i.e. holding it against the person).

Rebuilding and repairing a relationship is hard, but it can be done. I'm learning to forget about the bad from the past and focus on my good memories. When I get upset with him now, it's about something that has happened now, not something that happened two years ago. At least, I try to. When we have disagreements now, I try to take the lessons that I've learned and apply them to the now. I look at each experience with him as something new, and don't punish him or act leery because of how things went in the past. It's hard to do. And it's really scary. But I do it because I love him.

Most importantly, I don't let other people get in our business. There are people that LOVE to remind me of things from our past. I ignore them. They can't get to me. There are other people still who feel it's their place to chastise me for being with him again. I've found my voice, and my voice is telling them that he's the man I love, and if they can't accept him then I don't want them in my life. Unfortunately, they made me choose. Their loss.

Would it be easier to find someone else and start over? Of course. But that would be settling. I've heard that nothing worth anything comes easy. It's true. But it's worth it. Because though the journey is hard (at times) and frustrating (at times), the love that I'm able to give to this man, and receive from him, outweighs anything else. I get to look at our hands entwined and know that we didn't give up. As each anniversary passes, and each day a new lesson is learned, I get to grow closer to him and he to me.

He's my soul mate and I love him, warts and all.