I used to believe in the God of the Bible. I wasn’t a Bible thumper (fundamentalist), but I was peaceful. I had faith. I BELIEVED in something. My faith didn’t waiver, and I knew that whatever I was faced with, God would bring me through. I didn’t believe in coincidence. I believed that every person that was in my life was there for a reason. I believed that everything that happened in my life happened for a reason. I was filled with love and I was filled with faith, and I was happy.
And then I stopped believing…in anything. I stopped believing in God. I lost my faith in anything and everything. And I certainly didn’t believe in the healing power of love anymore. And right now, I’m so disgusted with people who talk about God, people who talk about love, people who talk about having faith, I just don’t want to deal with it anymore.
I got into it with a crazy woman the other night. She’s sitting there screaming at me in front of my 8-year-old son, hurling insults and false accusations and throwing the topic that she needs to keep out of her mouth in my face…this all came about because I hung up on her because I didn’t want to hear what she had to say….I’m sitting there, very calmly, on the phone with her son saying “your mother’s drunk again…she won’t close my car door and if I start to drive she’ll accuse me of trying to run her over….she won’t be quiet…T-man is right here….”. The woman wouldn’t stop. I mean, it got to where I finally had to take my i-pod and put the headphones in T-man’s ears so he wouldn’t hear her insane rants. And the best part? She looks at me and says…”God is going to punish you.” I couldn’t help myself, I burst out laughing. She thinks she has a “get out of hell” card and so that gives her the right to act like a maniac, and then tell ME that God is going to punish me? Well, thank goodness I don’t believe in HER God.
I used to have FAITH. I used to believe in LOVE. I used to believe in GOD. When someone says they LOVE you and then turns around and acts like a devil, how is that love? When it happens over and over and over again, how can you have FAITH? And when the GOD that you grew up believing in and loving just bails on you….in addition to all the nutcases that bomb abortion clinics or crash into buildings or tell you you’re going to burn in hell because you’re not like them…all in the name of God or Allah or whatever the hell they want to call him, well, can anyone blame me for not believing in God anymore?
Remember when you were a little kid and were learning about the rapture in Sunday School and seeing the movies about the rapture during Sunday night services? Did you ever come home and your parents weren’t home and your brother was gone….and get scared half to death thinking that the rapture happened and you weren’t taken? It’s pretty fucked up when one has to use threats and intimidation to get others to join them, and it’s especially fucked up when it’s directed toward children.
So now that I no longer believe in God or have faith (in anything) or believe in the power of love, what do I do?
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4 comments:
If you are telling the truth, you have fallen a long way. Do you think it will be worth it when your short life is over?
You seem to imply there is something wrong if a babykilling abortion mill is burned or bomb. Which do you prefer, a pile of bricks or a pile of dead babies? Innocent unborn babies deserve to be protected just as born children deserve to be protected. You would have no problem protecting born children if they were about to be murdered.
SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life. http://www.armyofgod.com
Dear Rev. Spitz:
Thank you for your comment. And thank you for providing me with yet another example of why I am so disgusted with religious people. And in response to your points...
One, when my short life is over, it's over. I'll be dead, buried six feet in the ground, and that'll be that. Two, having an abortion is a woman's right to choose. That decision is a very personal and emotional one, and people like you, who are physically incapable of even getting pregnant and, therefore, will NEVER be faced with that decision, should really mind your own business. And, three, I don't believe in your hell, nor do I believe in your Bible, nor do I believe in your God, so everything you just said doesn't apply to me because I'm not part of your clique.
Thank you and have a nice day.
What a freaking lunatic. Drawing a false equivocation between a pile of bricks and a pile of dead babies? It doesn't work like that.
First, if this guy is ACTUALLY a reverend, he should be familiar with the phrase "there is none that is without sin, nay, not one." So who is he to talk about INNOCENT unborn babies? According to his religion, nobody is innocent.
Oh, and how cute that by reciting some prewritten speech, you will somehow be whisked away to the magical place in the sky when you die. Hah! What happened to that "free will" argument? Can the all-knowing, all-powerful, invisible man in the sky really be fooled that easily by a mere mortal? Whatever.
Lunatics. All of them.
Just tell them an eye for an eye leaves us all blind. They can believe what they want and you have a right to believe what you want. As I do as well. I believe in a higher power but I also believe he is not full of hate like most bible beaters are.
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