The title just about says it all, huh. Moving on is scary but it was time. Mean people suck and that's all I'll really say about that.
It's amazing to have my friends again...I've missed them very much. And starting over...well, let's just say that I'm taking things VERY VERY VERY slow...but I'm happy. Yes, can you believe it? I'm actually happy.
So....time to get in the shower so we can go ice skating!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
Happy 4-Day Weekend and Merry Christmas
Seeing as it is 4:30 on Friday afternoon, my brain has officially checked out of work-mode. Well, actually, it was only halfway there to begin with since I woke up this morning. Lunch was fabulous, and filling, and expensive….but well worth it! Carla and I went to Brazzaz, our “inexpensive” Brazilian steakhouse that has a lunch special ($20 as opposed to the $50 it normally would be). The food is so delicious but I always end up overeating and then when I get back to work I just want to take a nap at my desk! I think I’ll hit Starbucks on my way to the train so I have some pep when I pick up the kids. Tonight I’ll order a pizza, do a very little bit of house cleaning, and watch a movie with the kids. The next four days are going to be very busy…
Tomorrow my friend Dan and I are taking Tristan downtown to go ice skating. After that, we’ll come back home and make a gingerbread house. Now the ice skating is going to be fun. I’ll probably fall a bunch of times and I’ll end up with a lot more bruises, but it’ll be fun. The thing I’m looking forward to the most, however, is building that gingerbread house. I have never in my life made one, seen one being made, or even seen the finished product, so this is going to be a blast. I figured I’d let Tristan choose the candy that he wants to decorate it with…who cares about traditional! If we’re not too tired, we’ll bake some cookies, too. Saturday evening I’m going to take Trist to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. I wish Cass would be around to hang with us, but I have to remember that she’s a teenager now and just wants to be with her friends or boyfriend.
Sunday won’t be so busy I guess. The highlight of the day is my Packers are playing the Bears and I can’t wait to watch it! Other than that, I’ll probably just finish laundry and cleaning the house.
Christmas Eve the kids and I are going to my grandparents’ house for dinner. That will be nice.
Christmas I’m going to Dan’s house and he’s going to cook dinner. Then after that we may go see I am Legend. I saw the previews for it a couple times and it looked really good.
Then back to work on Wednesday, but two out of my three attorneys will be on vacation so it won’t be a busy week at all!
Anyway, Merry Christmas to everybody!
Tomorrow my friend Dan and I are taking Tristan downtown to go ice skating. After that, we’ll come back home and make a gingerbread house. Now the ice skating is going to be fun. I’ll probably fall a bunch of times and I’ll end up with a lot more bruises, but it’ll be fun. The thing I’m looking forward to the most, however, is building that gingerbread house. I have never in my life made one, seen one being made, or even seen the finished product, so this is going to be a blast. I figured I’d let Tristan choose the candy that he wants to decorate it with…who cares about traditional! If we’re not too tired, we’ll bake some cookies, too. Saturday evening I’m going to take Trist to see the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. I wish Cass would be around to hang with us, but I have to remember that she’s a teenager now and just wants to be with her friends or boyfriend.
Sunday won’t be so busy I guess. The highlight of the day is my Packers are playing the Bears and I can’t wait to watch it! Other than that, I’ll probably just finish laundry and cleaning the house.
Christmas Eve the kids and I are going to my grandparents’ house for dinner. That will be nice.
Christmas I’m going to Dan’s house and he’s going to cook dinner. Then after that we may go see I am Legend. I saw the previews for it a couple times and it looked really good.
Then back to work on Wednesday, but two out of my three attorneys will be on vacation so it won’t be a busy week at all!
Anyway, Merry Christmas to everybody!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
My mind is playing tricks on me and my friends are the best
Our mind is a pretty powerful thing. And when our hearts are heavy, it’s pretty easy for our mind to start playing tricks on us. We start to question decisions that we’ve made, we start to romanticize our memories, we forget about all the bad and make the good out to be better than it actually was.
This is what happened to me last night. About a week ago, I finally ended a dead-end relationship. It took me six months to get it right, but I was able to find the courage, fueled by pain and anger, to say no more. I held on to my anger for most of the next 5 days and then the one week mark arrived. That’s when my brain started going a little, shall we say, nutty. I started to wonder if it was all a mistake. I started to convince myself that things could be fixed. I actually started to convince myself that we could be head-over-heals in love again like we used to be. Then I started getting sad and lonely and missing him. My sadness carried over into today, add that to some holiday stress and pms, and a dangerous combination was brewing.
Luckily, I came to my senses at lunch. I don’t know why I did it, somebody must have been watching out for me, but I sent a text message to the 7 people who are my support system in this break-up, and each and every one of them responded with encouraging words and reminders of what I went through the past 6 months. That stopped my tears before they fell. My heart isn’t as heavy and I know I’m going to get through this. After all, it was my choice to do it.
I had a reading done the other day, and the cards nailed it. I’m going to put myself first, stay away from the aggressor and not be afraid of the unknown. After all, I’ve taken that first step.
This is what happened to me last night. About a week ago, I finally ended a dead-end relationship. It took me six months to get it right, but I was able to find the courage, fueled by pain and anger, to say no more. I held on to my anger for most of the next 5 days and then the one week mark arrived. That’s when my brain started going a little, shall we say, nutty. I started to wonder if it was all a mistake. I started to convince myself that things could be fixed. I actually started to convince myself that we could be head-over-heals in love again like we used to be. Then I started getting sad and lonely and missing him. My sadness carried over into today, add that to some holiday stress and pms, and a dangerous combination was brewing.
Luckily, I came to my senses at lunch. I don’t know why I did it, somebody must have been watching out for me, but I sent a text message to the 7 people who are my support system in this break-up, and each and every one of them responded with encouraging words and reminders of what I went through the past 6 months. That stopped my tears before they fell. My heart isn’t as heavy and I know I’m going to get through this. After all, it was my choice to do it.
I had a reading done the other day, and the cards nailed it. I’m going to put myself first, stay away from the aggressor and not be afraid of the unknown. After all, I’ve taken that first step.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Sunday list of the day....things that I'm happy about...
I was driving home from the mall this morning and out of the blue I started laughing. Wow, to hear the sound of my own laughter, huh, it sounded so foreign! It's been awhile since I've been happy enough to laugh and it was a great feeling. Since I'm so happy today, I figure I'll make my list of the day about that!
1. My friends. My friends are awesome. I mean, there is no other way to put it. I distanced myself from them for pretty much the past year, but yet they never gave up on me. And here they are, keeping me encouraged and begging for the old Jenn to come back.
2. My neighbors. Really you ask? Yes. We got so much snow last night that I had to use the shovel to dig my car out. Then I couldn't get my snowblower to work so I dug a square around my car, floored it and was able to get out the driveway. When i came back home, my neighbor was out shoveling his walk. I told him I have a snowblower but I can't figure out how to start it. So he came over and started it for me and I finished clearing his sidewalks. I helped the neighbor on the other side off me, too cuz the poor kid looked frozen.
3. Money. Isn't it great to have enough money to pay your bills, buy your kids tons of Christmas presents, and still be able to go to the mall and buy some new clothes?
4. Starbucks. I must confess, I'm an addict. I can't help it - it's so yummy!!!!
5. Being free from people who drag you down. THIS IS HUGE!!!! Oh my gosh, I used to have such a bubbly outgoing personality and then I began to surround myself with people who were so negative and aggressive. Talk about a real downer. I am so relieved to be free from their oppressive nature and to be bubbly again!!!
6. Speaking of bubbly, champagne makes me happy. It's the bubbles.
ha ha, see, I told you I was back to my lovable goofy self!!! Happy Sunday people.
1. My friends. My friends are awesome. I mean, there is no other way to put it. I distanced myself from them for pretty much the past year, but yet they never gave up on me. And here they are, keeping me encouraged and begging for the old Jenn to come back.
2. My neighbors. Really you ask? Yes. We got so much snow last night that I had to use the shovel to dig my car out. Then I couldn't get my snowblower to work so I dug a square around my car, floored it and was able to get out the driveway. When i came back home, my neighbor was out shoveling his walk. I told him I have a snowblower but I can't figure out how to start it. So he came over and started it for me and I finished clearing his sidewalks. I helped the neighbor on the other side off me, too cuz the poor kid looked frozen.
3. Money. Isn't it great to have enough money to pay your bills, buy your kids tons of Christmas presents, and still be able to go to the mall and buy some new clothes?
4. Starbucks. I must confess, I'm an addict. I can't help it - it's so yummy!!!!
5. Being free from people who drag you down. THIS IS HUGE!!!! Oh my gosh, I used to have such a bubbly outgoing personality and then I began to surround myself with people who were so negative and aggressive. Talk about a real downer. I am so relieved to be free from their oppressive nature and to be bubbly again!!!
6. Speaking of bubbly, champagne makes me happy. It's the bubbles.
ha ha, see, I told you I was back to my lovable goofy self!!! Happy Sunday people.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Myspace, Old Friends, Blue Man Group and a Blizzard
Myspace is only good for one thing and one thing only. And that, my friends, is to reconnect with old friends.
I had these tickets to Blue Man Group for tonight and had no one to go with me. I was pretty bummed because they weren't exactly cheap, but oh well. I had just decided to stay home and clean, especially since we were supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow. I was changing my call tone on my cell phone because for some reason my friends didn't like the I Hate Everything About You song that I had playing (go figure). Anyway, 10 minutes after I closed my web browser, a new voice message came through. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I only check my messages about once a week, if even that. Well, for some reason I checked this message. I am so glad I did. It was my friend Dan who I went to high school with and hadn't seen in 16 years. Yes, we hadn't seen each other since freshman year. By the way, he was my skater boy that I used to share smooches with in the park lol. Ahh, to be young again...I hope my daughter isn't reading this ha ha. Anyway, he's been on my friends list on my Myspace forever, but we hadn't talked or seen each other. As luck would have it, he was free tonight and was able to go to Blue Man Group with me. He was also starving which meant that I was able to keep my reservations at Fogo de Chao (if you're ever in Chicago, eat there...$50 a plate but worth every penny of it). He had never been to a Brazilian steakhouse before and he loved it.
Blue Man Group was just as amazing as I remembered it to be. We had great seats, in the poncho section, and in the second row from the stage. It was so much fun and I'm really really glad that I decided to use the tickets instead of staying home to clean.
As is typical of Chicago in the winter, there was already about an inch of snow on the ground when we left for downtown, but traffic was light and the roads were clear so we had no trouble getting there. We parked in a garage and just cabbed it for the night. Very convenient. Getting home was a completely different story. By the time we left, the snow was falling at least an inch and hour and the roads were terrible! What typically is a 20-30 minute drive took 1 1/2 hours! Can you believe it? 1 1/2 hours to go 20 miles. Wow. But we laughed about it.
When I was on my side streets I had a little bit of fun making the car slide. I know, what is wrong with me, right? It is so out of character for me to do something so unsafe and, well, childish! But it was fun.
It seems like the old Jenn is coming back. Yay! My friends will be happy I know because they've missed me for the past year. So to all of you who have stuck by me, listened to me cry and complain, and kept your comments to yourself as I made the same destructive choice over and over and over again....I'M BACK!!!!! And I love you all dearly. Muah!!!!!
I had these tickets to Blue Man Group for tonight and had no one to go with me. I was pretty bummed because they weren't exactly cheap, but oh well. I had just decided to stay home and clean, especially since we were supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow. I was changing my call tone on my cell phone because for some reason my friends didn't like the I Hate Everything About You song that I had playing (go figure). Anyway, 10 minutes after I closed my web browser, a new voice message came through. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I only check my messages about once a week, if even that. Well, for some reason I checked this message. I am so glad I did. It was my friend Dan who I went to high school with and hadn't seen in 16 years. Yes, we hadn't seen each other since freshman year. By the way, he was my skater boy that I used to share smooches with in the park lol. Ahh, to be young again...I hope my daughter isn't reading this ha ha. Anyway, he's been on my friends list on my Myspace forever, but we hadn't talked or seen each other. As luck would have it, he was free tonight and was able to go to Blue Man Group with me. He was also starving which meant that I was able to keep my reservations at Fogo de Chao (if you're ever in Chicago, eat there...$50 a plate but worth every penny of it). He had never been to a Brazilian steakhouse before and he loved it.
Blue Man Group was just as amazing as I remembered it to be. We had great seats, in the poncho section, and in the second row from the stage. It was so much fun and I'm really really glad that I decided to use the tickets instead of staying home to clean.
As is typical of Chicago in the winter, there was already about an inch of snow on the ground when we left for downtown, but traffic was light and the roads were clear so we had no trouble getting there. We parked in a garage and just cabbed it for the night. Very convenient. Getting home was a completely different story. By the time we left, the snow was falling at least an inch and hour and the roads were terrible! What typically is a 20-30 minute drive took 1 1/2 hours! Can you believe it? 1 1/2 hours to go 20 miles. Wow. But we laughed about it.
When I was on my side streets I had a little bit of fun making the car slide. I know, what is wrong with me, right? It is so out of character for me to do something so unsafe and, well, childish! But it was fun.
It seems like the old Jenn is coming back. Yay! My friends will be happy I know because they've missed me for the past year. So to all of you who have stuck by me, listened to me cry and complain, and kept your comments to yourself as I made the same destructive choice over and over and over again....I'M BACK!!!!! And I love you all dearly. Muah!!!!!
Friday, December 14, 2007
Hello weekend, I'm so glad you're here!!!
Wow, it’s hard to believe that it’s Friday already! This weekend is going to have me running all over. Tonight I have a holiday party which I’m actually looking forward to. At first I was dreading it, I mean, newly single and all my friends will be with their guys. But I was reminded of all the judges and lawyers that will be there and, well, I am single! And hot. So I got into the spirit and yesterday went and bought a fabulous dress that definitely accents my petite body type.
Not too much drinking for me tonight though because early tomorrow morning I have a hair appointment. Finally no more blonde! I can’t wait. I am so sick of these goldilocks. Yes, it’s my natural color but I’ve always said that as Irish and Scottish as I am I should have been born a redhead. I do have the temperament to match!
After a couple hours at the salon, I have to finish my Christmas shopping. Luckily, I really don’t have that much left to do. I’ve already bought for my parents, grandparents, brother and bosses. I bought a couple things for my daughter. I just have to finish up getting stuff for her and get stuff for my son. He’ll be easy though because he just wants toys or video games.
Tomorrow night I have tickets for Blue Man Group. I’m excited about seeing BMG again. I saw it two years ago but this time I have seats in the poncho section. And it’s such an incredible show, how can I not have a great time!
Sunday my family is taking me out to dinner for a belated birthday treat. Our schedules are crazy and our off-days don’t usually coincide so this was the first opportunity we’ve had to do this. We’re going to one of my favorite reasonably priced steakhouses and, me being a lover of red meat and potatoes, I’m totally looking forward to that!
I’ve convinced my brother to come over Sunday afternoon and move the furniture for me so I can put up the Christmas tree. I really hate putting that thing up, but it’s for the kids so I need to get a move on. Christmas is only a little more than a week away.
All in all, life isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I’m getting back my “whatever” attitude, finding my strength, smiling a whole lot more and having fun. Oh, and guess what, my anxiety has disappeared!
Not too much drinking for me tonight though because early tomorrow morning I have a hair appointment. Finally no more blonde! I can’t wait. I am so sick of these goldilocks. Yes, it’s my natural color but I’ve always said that as Irish and Scottish as I am I should have been born a redhead. I do have the temperament to match!
After a couple hours at the salon, I have to finish my Christmas shopping. Luckily, I really don’t have that much left to do. I’ve already bought for my parents, grandparents, brother and bosses. I bought a couple things for my daughter. I just have to finish up getting stuff for her and get stuff for my son. He’ll be easy though because he just wants toys or video games.
Tomorrow night I have tickets for Blue Man Group. I’m excited about seeing BMG again. I saw it two years ago but this time I have seats in the poncho section. And it’s such an incredible show, how can I not have a great time!
Sunday my family is taking me out to dinner for a belated birthday treat. Our schedules are crazy and our off-days don’t usually coincide so this was the first opportunity we’ve had to do this. We’re going to one of my favorite reasonably priced steakhouses and, me being a lover of red meat and potatoes, I’m totally looking forward to that!
I’ve convinced my brother to come over Sunday afternoon and move the furniture for me so I can put up the Christmas tree. I really hate putting that thing up, but it’s for the kids so I need to get a move on. Christmas is only a little more than a week away.
All in all, life isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I’m getting back my “whatever” attitude, finding my strength, smiling a whole lot more and having fun. Oh, and guess what, my anxiety has disappeared!
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Quote of the Day
"If someone tries to give you a plate of shit and you refuse it, who does that plate of shit belong to?"
- Marcano
- Marcano
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