Our mind is a pretty powerful thing. And when our hearts are heavy, it’s pretty easy for our mind to start playing tricks on us. We start to question decisions that we’ve made, we start to romanticize our memories, we forget about all the bad and make the good out to be better than it actually was.
This is what happened to me last night. About a week ago, I finally ended a dead-end relationship. It took me six months to get it right, but I was able to find the courage, fueled by pain and anger, to say no more. I held on to my anger for most of the next 5 days and then the one week mark arrived. That’s when my brain started going a little, shall we say, nutty. I started to wonder if it was all a mistake. I started to convince myself that things could be fixed. I actually started to convince myself that we could be head-over-heals in love again like we used to be. Then I started getting sad and lonely and missing him. My sadness carried over into today, add that to some holiday stress and pms, and a dangerous combination was brewing.
Luckily, I came to my senses at lunch. I don’t know why I did it, somebody must have been watching out for me, but I sent a text message to the 7 people who are my support system in this break-up, and each and every one of them responded with encouraging words and reminders of what I went through the past 6 months. That stopped my tears before they fell. My heart isn’t as heavy and I know I’m going to get through this. After all, it was my choice to do it.
I had a reading done the other day, and the cards nailed it. I’m going to put myself first, stay away from the aggressor and not be afraid of the unknown. After all, I’ve taken that first step.
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