Words Hurt

People talk too much. I mean they really do. They call it venting, or looking for advice, but the point is, people talk too much. I’m just as guilty as everybody else. I would have a problem with somebody, I would bitch about it to my girlfriends. To my family. To the lady on the train. What it all boiled down to is I just wanted someone to listen to me. The person or situation that I had the issue with wouldn’t listen to me so I just wanted to be heard. The problem with doing that, though, is that people don’t forget. Life moves fast. One minute we can be livid with someone or something and the next minute all is forgotten and forgiven and life is roses again. But our friends or our family or the lady on the train doesn’t know that. So they remember. And they hold grudges.

Another problem with bitching about our problems to anybody who will listen is that the person we are talking to is only hearing one side of the story. And we all know that whenever we tell a story we’ll leave out the bad parts that we do and make the other person look like a monster. It’s normal human nature. And it’s to be expected. When my children tattle on each other, I have to remember that I will get two different versions of the same story and the truth is usually somewhere there in the middle. The people that we are venting to need to keep that in mind as well.
I made the mistake of constantly complaining to my one girlfriend about the same person, over and over again. Well, of course I left out most of what I did to him. I mean, she knows me, she knows I’m no angel so she knows I probably played a role in it. Of course, I made sure to let her think that the role I played was a very minimal role and basically placed all of the blame on this person. So my friend, being my friend, can’t stand this person. And because my friend is so vocal in her opinions, she has made it known, quite clearly, that she can’t stand this person. And thus the damage is done.

When people feel the need to get in your business and assert their opinions, it’s gone too far. When people feel the need to publicly bash a person or situation that is absolutely none of their business, it has gone too far.
That happened to me today. I was perusing some of my favorite websites and came across a blog written about me. And then as I was reading the comments left on that blog, well, let’s just say it hurt. Very deeply.

Ironically enough, Monday night I got into a very large argument with a woman. I called her and she started sobbing, telling me that I hurt her because I don’t call her anymore and she’s always been there for me and I just dropped her and blah blah blah. I told her that I’m sorry that I hurt her but that I don’t talk to very many people anymore. And then she started badmouthing a person that I care very deeply about. I interrupted her and told that that that right there is the exact reason why I do not call her anymore. There are a million subjects that she can discuss with me, and every time I talk to her she has to start talking about the one topic that is off limits with me. If she can’t respect my life and my choices and the people that I have in my life, then she doesn’t need to be in my life.

I have several points. First, mind your own business. Second, there are always two sides to every story. Third, words hurt. Deeply.