Valentine’s Day

Oh yes, it’s that time of year again. The commercials are all for diamonds. The colors are pink and red. It’s the time of year when, if you’re like me, you REALLY start to feel like a loser. Even my 7-year-old son has a valentine this year. Oh yes. Isn’t life peachy. I’ve been with the same guy for the past year-and-a-half and, true to form, we broke up a couple days ago. Funny how I thought this would be the one holiday in the past 7 (including both our birthdays) that I might actually enjoy. Oops…wrong again.

Yes, I know it’s a Hallmark holiday. And I know that the gifts that are given on this day don’t mean as much as they would if they were given on an ordinary day. But it’s one of the few days a year when the man actually remembers to be sweet and romantic. Hey, I used to be the lucky one. My guy used to be sweet and romantic ALL THE TIME. Then he stopped. Now I’m lucky if he even smiles at me anymore.

One would think that at this age I wouldn’t be worrying about things like not having a valentine. One would think that I wouldn’t be worrying about being alone 6 out of the 7 days in the week. One would think that I wouldn’t be worrying about why won’t he add me to his Myspace. One would think that the petty bullshit shouldn’t even be happening. But it does. And so, once again, I had big romantic plans that now I get to do by myself.

As I sit here watching all the women in my office get roses delivered, I realize how much time I’m wasting. Now, I don’t even like roses. Wild flowers are more my thing….and I HATE daisies. But anytime a woman gets flowers delivered to her at work, well that’s a grand gesture that goes a long way.

Instead of feeling like a loser, instead of trying to fix a relationship that is undoubtedly nothing but a waste of time and full of stress and depleted of love, I’m going to get out and do something. I’m going to go to a museum. I’m going to take a trip to Florida. I’m going to stop feeling sorry for myself, stop wishing he would love me the way he used to, stop trying to reason with him. I’m going to get out and live my life, the way I used to before he came along. And hey, maybe Chris is right. Maybe I will meet my soulmate.