Let the Universe Take Control

Today’s my first “real” day back at work in over a week. I was really sick, lost a bunch of weight, missed a bunch of work….but I’m happy to be back. As typical of a Monday morning, I overslept. Well, I didn’t really oversleep, I just woke up really sad and didn’t feel like moving when the alarm went off. So I laid there and cried for about 20 minutes then got up and got in the shower. I got myself dressed, got the kids up and we were out the door. And then, happy Monday, my car wouldn’t start. I just spent $175 last week on my car, luckily while I was sick and didn’t need to go too many places. I ended up having to call my ex-husband, who is the only one of my friends that lives close to me (plus he’s a mechanic) to come and jump my car. Except it wasn’t the battery. He was able to get it started so I was able to get on my way. Huh….Monday isn’t starting off so great. I made it to the train, after missing the first 2, and managed to settle in for the ride. I forced myself to put on my happy face and clear my mind, although the song that was on my mp3 as soon as I turned it on was one that made faking a smile pretty difficult…Far Away…..yea.

So I get to work, hoping that I was correct and I did have a pair of brown heels in one of my filing drawers…which I did. Except…great…the damn drawer got stuck open. And that means that I couldn’t open any of the drawers above it or get my chair close enough to my desk to do some work. Yes, happy Monday. Finally I got tired of messing around with it so I gave it a great big kick….oww on my foot but at least I got the stupid thing closed.

And my day goes on. Why is there an empty water glass on my desk with a napkin shoved in it? Why is my desk calendar all wilted like it got wet and dried funky? Oh, wonderful, someone spilled a glass of water on my desk while I was out. Oh, maybe that explains why my computer isn’t wanting to cooperate today, too.

Well my Monday is almost over….only an hour and a half and I get to head home. Then I can take off my happy face, put on my pajamas and cry over my broken heart. Today my horoscope said that when I don’t know what to do, sometimes it’s best to do nothing and let the Universe take control. So here, Universe…I’ve been sending you energy to take control of this…positive energy since someone told me that I’ve been sending out negative energy…oops, what did you expect…I was sick.

You know, the thing about energy, the thing about the Law of Attraction….we have emotions. Yes, we can take control of our thoughts and think positive thoughts and send out positive energy, but sometimes the pain that we feel is very real. Our hearts can hurt. Our feelings can hurt. Our souls can hurt. And I think it’s important to feel the pain. I feel my feelings, good and bad. But the thing is, even when I’m in the middle of crying because my heart hurts and I miss the one that I love so much, I still know that things will get better. I always know that I have to cry at that moment, but I won’t be crying forever.

So here, Universe, take control. I’m going to cry and I’m going to feel my sadness. And I’m going to eat these yummy Girl Scout cookies because chocolate always makes me feel better. And when I go to bed tonight I’ll send out positive energy. And maybe when I wake up I won’t cry again. And maybe when I wake up my heart won’t be so shattered. And maybe when I wake up he’ll have realized that he’s tired of being so far away from me. And maybe not. But regardless, I’m going to sit back and do nothing at all. I’ll let the Universe take care of things.