Life of Confusion

Lost and alone
Is how I feel
All these thoughts in my head
I don't know what's real
I feel so confused
And I don't know where I fit in
This feeling of helplessness
I just want it to end
I used to be calm
I was always so secure
Now my thoughts are so jumbled
And all I feel is fear
I don't know how I go on
Day after day
I feel so alone
I can't even pray
I look in the mirror
And I don't like what I see
What have I become?
Is this really me?
Why did I change?
And can I ever go back?
I don't know what to do
Why can't I relax?
I'm constantly on edge.
My nerves are wound so tight.
One minute at a time -
I'm just trying to do what's right.
I want to run away.
I want to break free.
I'm searching for something.
I'm trying to find me.
I need some help,
And I need it now.
I need to find some peace,
But I don't know how.
Help me God.
I'm begging You please.
Help me find what I've lost
And set my mind at ease.
Show me how to fix
The damage to my heart.
I need You to help me
Before I fall apart.
I don't know who I am
Or who I want to be
All I really know
Is that I want to be happy.
But I don't know how to get there
Or what it's going to take.
But something has to change soon
Because I feel like I'm going to break.
I go through the motions
And put on my game face
I pretend to be happy
But I can't find my place.
I feel so alone
Like I don't really belong.
This self-inflicted isolation -
Is it because I'm so headstrong?
Whatever the reason,
I can't go on this way.
This life has to get better.
Maybe it's time I tried to pray.

03-23-2004