An Anguished Wife's Prayer

I cry out to You in agony -
Please God speak to me.
I don't know what to do.
Which direction should I choose?
Please Father help me decide.
Hold my hand and be my Guide.
I thought he was the man for me,
I believed that from the start.
But why am I finding it so hard
To love him with all my heart?
He's the father of my children;
The man I pledged to love.
But lately that's been hard to do
And so I look for guidance from above.
Forgive me Father,
I know I've sinned.
I used to be so strong
Oh why did I have to bend?
My friendships have suffered,
My childred are sad.
And the damage to my marriage
Is pretty bad.
I'm hurting inside
And I know he is too.
Please God help me love him
The way You want me to.
My mind is so confused;
I don't know who I am anymore.
Sometimes all I want to do
Is run out the door.
Run away from it all
Forget about the stress.
I need some clarity in my thoughts
So I can do what's best.
I'm tired of the fighting.
Sick of feeling alone.
He pays me no attention,
But yells when I'm on the phone.
I can never make him happy.
I can never turn him on.
So is it any wonder
That I'm always gone?
The cruel words that he says
Makes me feel very small,
And part of me wants to say
Forget about it all.
But I've never been a quitter
And I don't want to give up without a fight.
So I'm asking You now, Lord
Please show me what is right.
I'm asking You for patience
And for wisdom, too.
It's with desparation in my heart
That I once again turn to You.
Give me guidance, Father
And help me to stay strong.
I just need to know
Where do I belong?

02/24/2004