Guess what….I’m happy!!!

Last night I was talking with R, letting him know all that’s been going on in my life. I was just talking, talking, talking away….telling him how I changed around my workout routine and how excited I am because I’m seeing the results already. Telling him how I’m kicking ass on my debt….medical bills from my angel girl are all paid off and now I’m focusing on my credit cards. Telling him about my meeting with a photographer that occurred….how it went, what our ideas were, and the photo shoot that we have scheduled. Telling him about the work I’ve been doing on the house….what I have left to do and when I’m going to put it up for sale. Telling him about the appointment I have on Friday….how I feel about it, etc. Telling him about my 1 year plan, my 1 ½ year plan, my 11 year plan, and hearing him laugh with me as I wondered out loud what I’m going to do for the 9 years between my 2 year plan and my 11 year plan. Yea, sometimes I get silly like that. He had me try on the new clothes that I bought…going shopping without him the other day was not an easy thing, but I did it anyway. And I’m only returning one thing! I told him how I’ve been spending time with my girlfriends, been spending time with the kids, about how I’m going to the Taste on Sunday, about the concert I’m going to see.

The funny thing is, I’m laying there next to him listening to myself talking about what’s been going on in my life, and it hit me: I’m actually happy. For the past month, instead of focusing on the fact that R was gone and how sad I was, I kept myself busy and focused on my goals so I didn’t have to feel the pain. And somehow it worked. I got happy. I started rediscovering myself. I’m slowing becoming, once again, the woman that R fell in love with, but more importantly, the woman that I love. Because of my positive outlook, because for the most part I continued to grow and work on myself instead of becoming depressed, R and I are slowly becoming reacquainted. And you know what’s great about that? He gets to take me out on dates!!!! Yeppers, I get to find new reasons to adore him, and he gets to find new reasons to adore me.

It took a bit to knock me out of my pessimistic mode, but now that I’m out of it I hold my head up high again. Yes, life is good. I am definitely happy.